Culled from “The
Nigeria Bride Academy.”
“A wedding ring is the
smallest handcuff ever made, choose your prison mate carefully and sentence
yourself wisely.”
Getting
married is the biggest decisions you’ll ever in your life as it will change the
course of your life forever.
Saying
Yes to a LIFE PARTNER signifies the
commitment and love you have for someone you want to spend the rest of your
life with.
However,
love is not enough. There are questions to ask before marriage that go beyond
love like children, dealing with conflicts, beliefs, finance and extended
family.
Marriage – Why do
you want to get married? Why did you choose me? How do you think life will
change if we got married? What are fives things we have in common? In what ways
has our relationship changed you? What can I do that provides the greatest
comfort and encouragement for you when you are hurt, fearful, anxious or
worried.
Religion – What role
does religion play in your life? How strong is your faith and belief in God?
Finances – How
compatible are we in our money styles and how will we handle finances once
married? Will we be having separate bank accounts or joint account? Are you in
debt?
Sex – Is there
anything from your past that might affect our sex life? (Examples: sexual
abuse, molestation, early interactions with pornography, toxic relationships,
depression, medication side effects, etc.)
Intimacy – When one of
us not in the mood for sex, what should be communicated so neither of us feels
rejected? What are ways we can make sure our sexual intimacy stays a priority
once we’re married? How would you communicate you aren’t satisfied sexually?
Conflict – What
makes you angry? What do you do when you’re angry? How do we resolve
differences in our marriage?
Children – How many
children do we want? What values do we want to instil in our children? How do
we discipline our kids?
What happens if we can’t have children? What are your views on adoption? How do
we discipline our children?
External Help – Do we feel
comfortable seeking professional counselling if needed? Why or not? Would you
be willing to go to marriage counselling if we were having marital problems?
Extended Family – are you prepared
to put our relationship first? Do you have any issues with my family? What role
do you see them playing in our lives? How do we handles in-laws so it does not
affect our relationship? If your parents became ill, would take them in? If my
parents became ill, would you mind taking them in?
Medical - What is your blood group, genotype and
Rhesus factor? What is your family medical history? Diabetes, mental health,
would be opposed to mental health treatment? If I had to change my diet because
of medical concerns, would you be willing to change yours? Are you willing to
exercise with me to improve health?
Career – What are
your career aspirations? What would you like to be doing five or ten years from
now? Whose career takes priority in the family? What would happen if your or I lose
our job? Would you mind moving if I had to relocate with my job?
Love Language – How do you
feel loved? There are five love of languages: words of affirmation, quality
time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Knowing your love
language can explain a lot about how you prefer to receive love. And knowing
your partner’s love language can help better connect with them and understand
them.
House Chores – Who should
do household chores? Would we hire help? How do we share chores in the house
especially when the children arrive?
Miscellaneous – What do we
see in our future? Do you have any hesitations? Is there anything you’re afraid
to talk to me about? Secrets can ruin a marriage. Honesty always the best
policy.
Divorce – How can we
make sure that divorce is NEVER an option for us? Are you truly prepared for “for
better or for worse”? Do you want this to last forever?
If
you are not able to find answer to these questions, sit down and plan things
out with your partner.
Remember
Getting Married should be for life. View your marriage as an UNBREAKABLE
COVENANT and not a CONTRACT.
Published
with permission from “The Nigeria Bride Academy”. Available on Amazon